In November 1978, my husband and I spent Monday through Wednesday of Thanksgiving week interviewing for attorney positions in Kansas City. We were third-year law students, and we had decided to settle in either Kansas City or San Diego.
Why those two cities? My husband was from Missouri, and we both liked San Diego. I came from a small town in Washington State with few legal opportunities. We could have gone to Seattle, but the Washington economy was not doing well that year, and at the time I had no connections with Seattle. (A year later my father took a job in a Seattle suburb—had I known, I might have argued more strongly that we should also interview in Seattle.)
We had three days available, so we each set up six half-day interviews. We mostly contacted lawyers in Kansas City who were alumni of Stanford Law School, on the assumption that they might give us more attention than if we cold-called other firms. There was some overlap in our interviews—there weren’t too many Stanford alums in Kansas City in 1978. So we both interviewed with some of the same firms and with the Legal Department of Hallmark Cards. But we each also had interviews with firms the other didn’t talk to. We ended up with big firms, little firms, and one corporate law department—six possibilities for each of us.
I can still picture some of the offices where I interviewed. I met attorneys that week in several firms with whom I would later spend much time professionally. Most of them I liked, but a few I did not.
By mid-December, we had choices to make. I had offers from one small firm, two large firms, and Hallmark Cards. My husband had about the same. We were given a variety of options—one large firm would take both of us, but our other law firm offers were from separate firms.
And Hallmark told us they had one attorney position but either of us could take it.
One Hallmark Human Resources Manager later told me it was the weirdest offer letter he’d ever seen. Another Hallmark Human Resources Manager later told me he had advised the General Counsel not to make a joint offer and to pick one of us, but the General Counsel went ahead with the one-or-the-other-of-you offer.
I later listened to the General Counsel take credit for the idea, but it really came from my husband and me. (I didn’t tell him so when I heard him claim it.) We had known a couple in the Stanford Law School class ahead of us who had proposed the notion of a contingent offer to the places where they both interviewed. That way, they wouldn’t risk a firm turning them both down so as to not make one spouse mad by choosing the other. Seemed like a good idea to us, so we used it.
With a variety of offers in hand, what should we do?
We knew we didn’t want to work at the same firm. We didn’t want our professional development and incomes tied up in the same place. We didn’t think being competitors for promotions and other opportunities would be good for our marriage. And if one of us wasn’t happy or wasn’t treated well, we didn’t want to both be impacted.
We were both attracted by the Hallmark people and work. I liked the people at one firm, but I wasn’t certain of the caliber of their work (it would have been an excellent choice, as time later revealed). I liked the work at another firm but found their attorneys stuffy (that firm later folded). Another offer wasn’t that appealing.
My husband had similar reactions to his choices, though slightly different. He also found the firm that later folded stuffy, and he also liked the Hallmark people and work. But he had another offer from a firm where he liked both people and work.
We discussed our options and argued a bit. I say I won—I accepted the Hallmark offer, and he took the law firm that he liked.
We both had lengthy and successful careers. I spent 27 years at Hallmark, first in the Legal Division, and then in Human Resources (where I found out what those HR professionals had thought of our offer letter). I only retired from Hallmark because I wanted to spend my time writing. My husband retired after 35 years at his law firm, though he has returned for two temporary assignments since he first tried to leave. While we weren’t always happy in our work, we were as happy as most people are and more so than many.
I do think we used the right criteria in deciding where to work—considering both the people with whom we would work and the caliber of work we would be doing.
And we started the process 40 years ago this week with three days of interviewing.
What criteria did you use to pick your jobs?
