Reflections on a Second Granddaughter

With everything else going on, I haven’t had as much time as I’d like to rejoice in my second granddaughter. But she is a treasure.

I recounted some of the drama associated with her birth in last week’s post, but I am happy to say she came through it unscathed. (The adults around her bore the brunt.) A healthy weight, a healthy appetite, a mostly mellow personality. And lots of hair—more hair than any other baby in my family in three generations. (I can’t post a picture; you’ll have to take my word on this.)

She is now almost three weeks old, and I’ve had a little time to reflect on the bounty of having TWO granddaughters, and how I am reacting differently to this birth than to that of my first granddaughter.

First, I got to meet this one earlier than her older sister. I met her at four days old, rather than at two weeks (though even two weeks I thought was a blessing with the first one). I have seen Baby Two many times since that first meeting, so I have noticed some of the daily changes that newborns have—her jaundice faded quickly, she has regained birth weight, and she already tries to hold her head up. But with the first one, I stayed with my daughter’s family for a week, so I had the full experience of nightly feedings, which I am missing with this second granddaughter.

Second, all the baby care seems so much more familiar this time. My first granddaughter was the first newborn I’d spent much time with in decades. Her tininess and fragility (though she was a large baby) were a shock. I had to resurrect my maternal education to remember to support her head, put the diaper on tightly, monitor warmth, burp regularly—all the things I did with my own children, but then forgot.

This time, because of my experience just two years ago with Baby One, handling Baby Two feels natural. I worry less about dropping her. I give her a bottle easily. I know she’s more resilient than she looks.

So I’m perhaps more complacent about caring for her. But I also marvel more at how quickly she is likely to develop in the months ahead. With Baby One, each new thing she could do—lift her head, roll over, reach for toys, scoot, etc.—seemed a miracle. But it was a miracle in the moment—I didn’t have a firm timeline for what she’d learn next.

This time, I am looking ahead for the miracles, remembering our first granddaughter’s timeline. I know Baby Two will have her OWN timeline and will not follow her older sister exactly. And I want her to march (or first, crawl) to her own drummer. Still, because I have a better sense of infant development this time around, I project her milestones into the future.

Soon, she’ll start smiling at us (though I think she’s already smiled at me once). By Labor Day, she might be rolling over. By Christmas, she will be mobile (watch out!). What form her mobility will take, we do not know. Will she creep? Crawl? Scoot? That will be up to her, but within months, we need to be ready for her to take on the world.

And by next summer, she will be running.

Meanwhile, as I watch this second baby, I also enjoy more frequent contacts with my older granddaughter. At two, she has a real personality, her own quirks and strengths, likes and dislikes. She soaks up every word she hears. And she even has a sense of humor, sometimes at the expense of her grandmother.

The similarities and the differences between babies over time are both important and trivial—each child will become her own self. But the similarities and differences are the subject of this grandmother’s reveries.

What do you enjoy most about your grandchildren at this point in their development?