What I Miss After a Year

My husband and I moved to a retirement community in Seattle a year ago this week. Every big move brings a lot of gains and losses and starts an adjustment process. Our move was no exception. Although we have had many positive outcomes from this move, I’ve been thinking recently about what I miss in Kansas City.

Small luxuries at home

Although we moved from a large house to a 2-bedroom apartment, I find the space we have to be fine for our needs. Some things are even improvements—the shower I use now has better water pressure than the shower in the beautiful master bath in our house.

But there are a few conveniences in our house that I miss:

• My washer and dryer — I am grateful to have a washer and dryer in the apartment, and they are adequate. But it is a small stacked set. Because of its size, I do laundry about every other day, and some days I do two loads. The washer and dryer I had in Kansas City were large units, and I could cram a lot into them.
• My instant hot water dispenser — The kitchen in our house had an instant hot water dispenser that allowed me to make a cup of tea in only the time it took to steep the tea bag. Now, I have to heat the water before I can begin steeping, which doubles the time to make tea.
• My screened porch — I loved sitting outside on warm evenings listening to the frogs and crickets (but not the cicadas) and watching for deer. I have a beautiful view in our apartment here in Seattle, but our deck is too small and hot (and it isn’t screened from spiders and insects), so I don’t stay outside like I did in Kansas City. I can go sit outside in our community’s garden, and I do, but I can’t go there in my pajamas.

Loss of personal connections

More important than the loss of some of the amenities we built into our home are lost connections with people.

• My parish — I was a member of a vibrant parish in Kansas City, with an active pastor and staff, strong liturgies, and excellent music. The parish I am in now has all the parts, but they don’t quite mesh. And the Seattle Archdiocese is in the middle of a process to combine parishes, which will mean more change over the next few years. Maybe it will lead to a greater sense of community, but I’ll have to wait and see.
• Medical providers — My husband and I are now established with the doctors and other medical providers we need in Seattle. And we’ve been pleased with their professionalism and demeanors. But it is still hard to start from scratch with medical histories and to lose trusted relationships. Thank goodness for electronic medical records.
• Friendships and groups — A few of my groups from Kansas City have reverted to the Zoom meetings of the pandemic year to keep me included, and I am so appreciative of their efforts. However, time zone changes and technical glitches do make this harder. I’ve had to drop a couple of groups and get up earlier to accommodate others. I’m starting to find a community here in Seattle, but I’ll never have the deep relationships I developed over 45 years in Kansas City.

Adapting to a new metropolitan area

In addition to the personal connections my husband and I have lost, we’ve had to learn a whole new community. Some of the losses in this category surprised me, including:

• Freeway driving — Indeed, driving in general. Seattle has beautiful scenery and many great parks and other amenities. But I don’t like driving around the city. I never realized how much I liked driving in Kansas City until we moved. I could drive from the north end of Kansas City where I lived to the south end, a distance of 35-40 miles, in 45 minutes. By contrast, it can take 45 minutes to go a distance of 12-15 miles in Seattle. The airport is 20 miles from our apartment, and it can take up to an hour to drive there. I estimate there are twice as many cars per mile of highway here as in Kansas City. Plus, I don’t know which lane to be in to exit efficiently, whereas in Kansas City I knew every lane on every route.
• CVS — I never thought I’d say this, but I miss CVS stores. It seemed Kansas City had a spanking-new CVS store at every major intersection. I would pass three or four of them on almost every trip I made. The stores were large, well-stocked, and many had a nice display of Hallmark greeting cards. In Seattle, the drug stores all seem dingy, with empty shelves, and many more items under lock and key. A few local drug stores were recently acquired by CVS, so I’m hopeful things will improve. But I wonder when the CVS stores in Seattle will get Hallmark cards.
• QuikTrip — And QuikTrip stores fall in the same category as CVS. Kansas City had QuikTrip stores dotted all over the metropolitan area. These gas station/convenience stores were clean and well-stocked, and I never worried about using rest rooms or even buying food there. I’ve ventured into very few convenience stores here because they don’t look very appealing from the outside.

Every big move comes with many gains and losses. And we have gained a lot in relocating to Seattle. I’m particularly grateful for the proximity to family, which gives me the opportunity to spend time with my granddaughters frequently. I’m glad we made the move. But I sometimes grow wistful for the life we built in Kansas City.

What have you missed after you have made a move?