Which Would I Rather Be—a Recluse or a Hermit?

I used to debate with myself whether I would rather be a recluse or a hermit after I retired. I could never decide for sure. All I knew was that I suspected I would want less human contact, rather than more, as I aged.

The definitions of the two words are quite similar. Merriam-Webster says a recluse is “a person who leads a secluded or solitary life,” while a hermit is “one that retires from society and lives in solitude especially for religious reasons.” Well, my desire to avoid human interaction wasn’t grounded in religion. In fact, my religion would encourage more human contact rather than less.

But then, the definitions in Dictionary.com confused the issue. There, a recluse is defined as “a person who lives in seclusion or apart from society, often for religious meditation,” and a hermit is defined as “a person who has withdrawn to a solitary place for a life of religious seclusion,” and, alternatively, as “any person living in seclusion; [a] recluse.” So religious motivation isn’t the determining factor, and the two terms are essentially synonyms.

Both terms date back to the 12th century or so. Both derive from Old French words. But “recluse” came from the Late Latin term for “shut up” or “enclosed,” while “hermit” came (via Latin) from a Greek term for “person of the desert.” Being enclosed in a safe cocoon sounded nice, but I am also a person of the desert. Etymology didn’t help my decision.

I was back to my own preference. Recluse or hermit? Which would I rather be?

For me, being a recluse had the connotation of someone who deliberately set themselves apart from society. There was definitely a curmudgeonly aspect to being a recluse, but not anything particularly evil. Though I do picture an old lady on a porch with a shotgun.

I’ve always thought a hermit had a similar connotation of deliberate isolation. But to me that term also implied a lack of bathing. An old man in filthy overalls and a beard. I certainly intended to keep taking showers, so I leaned toward becoming a recluse.

On the other hand, crabs are hermits, whereas spiders are recluses. Given my arachnophobia, a hermit might be preferable.

On balance, I think I’d rather be a recluse. It still sounds cleaner than a hermit. And, while my husband owns an old shotgun, we don’t keep any ammunition in the house. I won’t be sitting on my porch taking potshots. I don’t want to damage the screens.

All this pondering aside, during this time of pandemic, I have become more of a recluse or hermit than I ever really intended. I mostly stay holed up at home, having little human interaction with anyone other than my husband.

During the past several months, I have discovered that perhaps I am not cut out to be a recluse or a hermit after all. I need some socialization. I take opportunities now to strike up conversations with grocery clerks. I greet the neighbors out walking their dogs with a big smile—in our neighborhood no one wears a mask outside, so smiles can be seen. We remain socially distanced and separate—one on the sidewalk, the other moving to the street—but we say hello as we quickly pass. These human contacts keeps me sane.

Which term do you prefer—recluse or hermit? And how are you maintaining your human connections during the pandemic?