Our 46th wedding anniversary was last weekend. Number forty-six doesn’t merit much recognition, though I gave my husband a couple of Hallmark cards. We ate Thanksgiving leftovers, so I didn’t have to cook. It snowed the night before, but the weather warmed enough that no shoveling was necessary. Still, we were both happy to stay inside all day.
Despite our low-key approach to this occasion, I spent some time reflecting on the past forty-six years. We’ve gone on some memorable anniversary trips. For our fifth anniversary, we left our baby son with my in-laws and went to St. Genevieve, Missouri. For our tenth anniversary, we went to the U.S. Virgin Islands, which was my first Caribbean trip. On our twentieth anniversary, we went to Scottsdale, Arizona, and stayed at the Biltmore. And on our twenty-fifth anniversary, we went to Aruba—another Caribbean escape.
Though we have marked some of our anniversary milestones, really, the anniversary day is not as important as all the days in between. The days of work and chores that make up real life. A marriage is real life. The celebration comes when we can say we’ve endured real life together. All of it—the sickness and health, the richer and poorer, the good times and bad.
We have had our share of all of these. Mostly health, but less so these days. Mostly financial security, though we began our life in Kansas City when all our worldly possessions fit in a Pinto station wagon. Mostly, our lives have been good, though we have had our share of fears and failures, disappointments and disputes.
Along the way, we’ve raised two great kids, seen them mature and marry people we like and respect. And this year brought a granddaughter—a new generation to love and cherish. We had good careers, and we live in a lovely home. Definitely, more good times than bad.
As I’ve written before, when people ask me how we’ve stayed married so long, I reply, “Inertia.” There are days when that is true, when the difficulty of unraveling two lives is what keeps a couple together, for us as for most couples.
And there are days when the fabric of two lives becomes woven ever tighter, so that separation is impossible. I think we’re there. Until death do us part.
Happy Anniversary to my husband (a few days after the occasion)
Happy Anniversary!