As I’ve written before, my husband recently spent 30 days in the hospital. This was followed by three weeks in a rehab facility—a total of more than seven weeks away from home. He has only recently returned to our apartment.
Those weeks felt long in every sense. Long days for him in bed and for me acting as his advocate in these institution. Long nights alone for each of us. Long stretches of uncertainty as to when he could return and what restrictions he would have.
So having him back in our apartment in our retirement community is a milestone worth noting. He’s now receiving services through the Assisted Living program here, which is helpful. Still, his return home has brought changes to our daily rhythm, and we’re both learning what this new normal looks like.
The biggest adjustment is his walker. He used it in rehab, but remembering to always have it with him takes some doing. Because he can walk fairly well most of the time, it’s easy for him to forget he needs it. But his blood pressure can drop without warning, and his balance isn’t what it used to be. The walker isn’t just a convenience—it’s a safeguard. A fall in blood pressure or a trip over his feet could mean a fall, and a fall could mean another hospital stay. So we’re both trying to build new habits around safety, even when it feels inconvenient or unnecessary.
Another change is that he’s been told he should have someone nearby at all times. For now, that someone is usually me, except when an aide is scheduled. Before his hospitalization, my husband moved around the community independently. Now, I accompany him to breakfast in the dining room instead of staying in the apartment. I go with him to activities—some of which interest him more than they interest me—but being present matters more than the activity itself. It’s a shift in how we move through our days, and I’m learning to work my other responsibilities around staying with him.
We saw his neurologist recently, and she thought he was doing well. So we are hopeful that with some physical therapy, he’ll regain more independence. As he regains independence, so do I.
For the moment, though, we’re adapting. We’re navigating the practical changes, the emotional ones, and the unexpected closeness that comes from being together almost constantly. After seven weeks apart, that closeness isn’t all bad. In fact, it’s a reminder of why we keep doing the hard work of adjusting.
When have you had to adapt to a new normal in your own life?
